What If They Won't Play?
Key Takeaway: When the other side refuses to engage in principled negotiation, use negotiation jujitsu — don't push back against their attacks; sidestep and redirect their energy toward the problem — or bring in a third party using the one-text mediation procedure to bypass positional deadlock entirely.
Chapter 7: What If They Won't Play?
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Summary
This is the most tactically rich chapter in the book. Fisher addresses the inevitable objection: what if you try principled negotiation and the other side simply won't play? They state positions in unequivocal terms, attack your proposals, and attack you personally. The answer comes in three layers of escalating intervention: first, change the game by playing principled negotiation yourself (it's contagious); second, use #negotiationjujitsu to sidestep their attacks and redirect their energy toward the problem; third, bring in a third party using the #onetextprocedure.
Negotiation Jujitsu is the chapter's signature contribution and the concept that most directly parallels Chris Voss's tactical approach in Never Split the Difference. The core principle is borrowed from martial arts: don't pit your strength against theirs directly; instead, step aside and redirect their force. When they assert their position forcefully, don't reject it — treat it as one possible option and look behind it for the interests it reflects. When they attack your ideas, don't defend them — invite criticism and ask for advice. When they attack you personally, don't counterattack — recast their attack as an attack on the problem. The fundamental discipline is: do not push back.
The specific techniques are immediately actionable. "Don't attack their position, look behind it" — ask what interests the position reflects and what principles it embodies. Fisher's Nasser example is devastating: when an American lawyer asked Egypt's president what would happen if Israel withdrew unconditionally, Nasser burst out laughing at the political impossibility of his own demand. Exploring a position hypothetically reveals its weaknesses far more effectively than attacking it head-on. "Don't defend your ideas, invite criticism" — instead of asking "will you accept this?" ask "what concerns of yours would this fail to address?" This converts the other side from an adversary evaluating your proposal into a collaborator improving it.
The #questionstrategy section contains some of Fisher's most practical advice. Questions generate answers; statements generate resistance. Questions educate without provoking defensiveness. And silence — Fisher's "best weapon" — creates uncomfortable pressure that the other side feels compelled to resolve. This mirrors Voss's emphasis on Calibrated Questions almost exactly: Voss's "How am I supposed to do that?" is a textbook example of negotiation jujitsu, redirecting the problem to the other side through a question rather than a statement. The philosophical difference is that Fisher frames questions as tools for mutual education, while Voss frames them as influence weapons — but the tactical mechanics are nearly identical.
The One-Text Procedure is the chapter's second major framework and represents Fisher's most sophisticated process design. Rather than having two sides present competing proposals and negotiate toward convergence (which locks each into their position), a mediator develops a single draft, asks both sides only for criticism (not acceptance), and iteratively improves the text until no further improvement seems possible. Only then does each side face a simple yes/no decision on the final draft. The genius is that criticism is psychologically easy — no one has to "give in" or "make concessions" — while the mediator absorbs the creative burden of integrating both sides' concerns. Fisher reveals that the Camp David Accords between Egypt and Israel were produced through exactly this process: 23 drafts over 13 days, with the United States as mediator.
The Frank Turnbull dialogue that closes the chapter is a masterclass in applied principled negotiation. Every exchange is annotated with analysis, making it the book's most practical teaching tool. Turnbull uses specific stock phrases that embody the method: "Please correct me if I'm wrong" (establishes dialogue based on facts, not positions), "We appreciate what you've done for us" (separates the person from the problem), "Our concern is #fairness" (takes a stand on principle), "Trust is a separate issue" (deflects emotional manipulation), "Let me get back to you" (avoids deciding under pressure), and "One fair solution might be..." (presents proposals as options, not demands).
The Turnbull case also demonstrates an important tactical nuance about BATNA disclosure: Turnbull's actual best alternative (just move out and forget the overpayment) is weak, so he strategically avoids disclosing it while letting Mrs. Jones assume he has the stronger alternative (staying in the apartment and suing). This calculated information management sits uncomfortably with Fisher's emphasis on openness and principle — it's closer to Voss's tactical mindset than Fisher might want to admit.
The deeper insight running through the entire chapter is that principled negotiation is not passive or accommodating. It requires discipline, preparation, and tactical sophistication. The Turnbull dialogue shows that a principled negotiator can be assertive, persuasive, and even strategically opaque — all while maintaining the collaborative framework that makes durable agreements possible. The method's strength isn't that it's nice; it's that it systematically channels conflict toward productive ends.
Key Insights
Don't Push Back — Sidestep and Redirect
The core of negotiation jujitsu. When someone pushes hard (asserting positions, attacking your ideas, attacking you), the natural reaction is to push back — and that's exactly what locks you into positional bargaining. Instead, step aside: treat their position as one option, invite criticism of your ideas, and recast personal attacks as attacks on the shared problem. Redirecting their energy is more effective than matching it.Questions Are More Powerful Than Statements
Statements generate resistance; questions generate answers. A question like "What concerns of yours would this fail to address?" converts the other side from adversary to collaborator. Questions also have no target for the other side to attack. Combined with strategic silence (Fisher's "best weapon"), questions create gentle but persistent pressure that moves discussions toward the merits without confrontation.The One-Text Procedure Bypasses Positional Deadlock
When both sides are locked into competing proposals, introducing a single mediator-drafted text that is iteratively improved through criticism (not concession) can break the impasse. The key insight: asking people to criticize a draft is psychologically easy; asking them to make concessions is hard. The Camp David Accords proved this at the highest level of international diplomacy.Never Make Important Decisions at the Table
Turnbull's "Let me get back to you" is one of the most important tactical moves in the chapter. The psychological pressure to be nice and give in is strongest in the moment. Creating distance — checking information, consulting with your "constituency," sleeping on it — preserves your commitment to principled negotiation. A credible reason to step away is an essential tool.You Can Be Principled Without Being Transparent About Everything
Turnbull's strategic non-disclosure of his weak BATNA shows that principled negotiation is not the same as full transparency. You can negotiate on the merits, insist on objective criteria, and refuse to use dirty tricks while still managing information strategically. The method is honest, not naive.Key Frameworks
Negotiation Jujitsu
A three-part technique for deflecting positional bargaining moves without engaging in them: (1) When they assert positions — don't reject, look behind them for interests; (2) When they attack your ideas — don't defend, invite criticism and ask for advice; (3) When they attack you — don't counterattack, recast the attack as an attack on the problem. Uses questions and silence as primary tools. Named for the martial arts principle of redirecting force rather than opposing it.One-Text Mediation Procedure
A process for breaking positional deadlock through iterative drafting. A mediator: (1) interviews both sides about interests (not positions), (2) prepares a single draft, (3) asks each side for criticism only (not acceptance), (4) revises the draft based on criticism, (5) repeats until no further improvement is possible, (6) presents the final text for a simple yes/no decision. Used at Camp David (23 drafts, 13 days), the Law of the Sea negotiations, and South African constitutional talks.Stock Phrases for Principled Negotiation
Annotated phrases from the Turnbull case that any negotiator can deploy: "Please correct me if I'm wrong" (opens dialogue on facts), "We appreciate what you've done" (separates person from problem), "Our concern is fairness" (stands on principle), "Trust is a separate issue" (deflects manipulation), "Could I ask a few questions to check my facts?" (educates without threatening), "What's the principle behind your action?" (demands justification), "Let me get back to you" (avoids pressure decisions), "One fair solution might be..." (proposes without demanding).Recast Personal Attacks as Problem Attacks
When someone says "You don't care about X!", reframe it as "I hear your concern about X, and I share it. How can we address that concern together?" This technique: (a) validates their emotion, (b) refuses to personalize, (c) redirects toward joint problem-solving, and (d) gives them an off-ramp from confrontation.Direct Quotes
[!quote]
"Instead of pushing back, sidestep their attack and deflect it against the problem."
[source:: Getting to Yes] [author:: Roger Fisher] [chapter:: 7] [theme:: negotiationjujitsu]
[!quote]
"Statements generate resistance, whereas questions generate answers."
[source:: Getting to Yes] [author:: Roger Fisher] [chapter:: 7] [theme:: questionstrategy]
[!quote]
"Silence is one of your best weapons."
[source:: Getting to Yes] [author:: Roger Fisher] [chapter:: 7] [theme:: negotiation]
[!quote]
"It is hard to make concessions, but it is easy to criticize."
[source:: Getting to Yes] [author:: Roger Fisher] [chapter:: 7] [theme:: onetextprocedure]
[!quote]
"A good negotiator rarely makes an important decision on the spot."
[source:: Getting to Yes] [author:: Roger Fisher] [chapter:: 7] [theme:: negotiation]
[!quote]
"You can change the game simply by starting to play a new one."
[source:: Getting to Yes] [author:: Roger Fisher] [chapter:: 7] [theme:: principlednegotiation]
Action Points
- [ ] Build a personal toolkit of negotiation jujitsu stock phrases — print the Turnbull phrases on an index card and review before any important negotiation: "Please correct me if I'm wrong," "What concerns of yours would this fail to address?", "Our concern is fairness," "Let me get back to you"
- [ ] In your next negotiation where the other side attacks your proposal, resist defending it — instead say "What's wrong with it? What would you change?" and use their criticism to improve the offer collaboratively
- [ ] Practice strategic silence: after asking a question, count silently to ten before speaking again. Let the discomfort work on the other side rather than filling the gap yourself.
- [ ] When facing a multi-party impasse on a business deal (buyer, seller, agents, lenders), consider the one-text approach: draft a single term sheet yourself, circulate for criticism, revise, and iterate until all parties can say yes or no to a final version
- [ ] Before every negotiation, prepare a credible reason to step away ("I need to check with my partner / run the numbers / consult my attorney") — never let yourself be pressured into important decisions at the table
Questions for Further Exploration
- Fisher's negotiation jujitsu and Voss's calibrated questions are tactically almost identical — questions instead of statements, redirecting rather than opposing, silence as a tool. Is the only difference philosophical framing (Fisher: mutual education; Voss: influence weapon), or are there real tactical distinctions?
- The one-text procedure requires a mediator both sides trust — but in many real-world negotiations, no neutral third party is available. Fisher suggests you can mediate your own dispute, but doesn't this compromise the neutrality that makes the procedure work?
- Turnbull conceals his weak BATNA while implying a stronger one — is this consistent with principled negotiation's emphasis on openness and reason, or is Fisher quietly acknowledging that some strategic information management is necessary?
- The stock phrase approach (memorized responses for common situations) seems at odds with the deeper principle of genuine interest-based engagement — does relying on scripted phrases risk making principled negotiation feel performative?
Personal Reflections
Space for your own thoughts, connections, disagreements, and applications. What resonated? What challenged your assumptions? How does this connect to your own experience?
Themes & Connections
- #negotiation — the core domain; this chapter addresses tactical execution when the other side resists
- #negotiationjujitsu — Fisher's martial-arts-inspired technique for redirecting adversarial energy toward problem-solving
- #principlednegotiation — applied under adverse conditions; the chapter proves the method works even against positional bargainers
- #mediation — the one-text procedure as a process design for breaking deadlock
- #onetextprocedure — iterative draft-and-criticize method used at Camp David and the Law of the Sea
- #activelistening — Fisher's restating technique ("Let me see if I understand what you're saying") as a tool for establishing cooperative dynamics
- #deflection — the core jujitsu skill; not opposing force but redirecting it
- #reframing — recasting personal attacks as attacks on the shared problem
- #conflictresolution — the broader domain; managing resistance to collaborative problem-solving
- #questionstrategy — using questions instead of statements; Fisher's tool for educating without provoking
- Concept candidates: Negotiation Jujitsu, One-Text Procedure, Reframing
- Cross-book connections:
Tags
#negotiation #negotiationjujitsu #principlednegotiation #mediation #onetextprocedure #activelistening #deflection #reframing #conflictresolution #questionstrategy